despair

It's another one of those days where I find myself just drifting between words and worlds, somehow a bit exhausted. Obligations pile up in front of me, but I don't give a goddamn and somehow I'll just worry about it later. Maybe I'm just tired and all, or maybe it's the weather, but whatever the reason, its still crazy me half-restrained/constrained and just letting myself empty like a tin can being drifted by the current down the dead dirty river of humanity.

The rain now lashes against the windows and I close them to prevent my notes from getting wet. Yet there's this side of me that wants to go out and dance in this impromptu storm like it's the best darned thing that has happened in a long time, singing a rainsong and heralding the end of the drought.

And I end up asking myself, why do I prevent myself from this release that I am after? Not just the dance in the rain, but in everything else, from saying those clichéd three words and just losing myself and my pride in the process.