words

Originally written on 08.07.07

Odd that for a (or rather an aspiring) writer, words don't affect me that much.

That wasn't always the case. When I was younger, only a little tease and I'd burst out crying. I was the unofficial crybaby in our circle of cousins, and our almost everyday dialogue would go like this:

Pinsan 1: *teases me* Haha! Di mo abot o!
Me: WAAAH! Abot ko naman eh! *starts crying*
Pinsan 2: Iyakin! Iyakin!
Me: *starts bawling* Di ako iyakin!
Pinsan 3: Hala lakas ng iyak o!
Lola: *comes out of house* Ano na naman ginawa ninyo?! Magsiuwian nga muna kayo!
*all cousins leave*
Me: *would still be crying*

But now, hurl those insults at me and I'd either a) reply sarcastically, b) laugh (if you're one of my close friends) or c) just smile so annoyingly sweetly. This is so effective especially ingame; I remember the time that an arrogant player in (the soon to be defunct) pRose Polaris was mocking me. I just used tactic c and it went like this for at least 15 mins. in the entrance area of Luna Temple:

Player: Hoy weak!
Me: *silent*
Player: Weak!
Me: Ano naman kung weak ako? :)
Player: *shows off and uses that Raider poison skill on the monster that I'm killing, whatever that was called* Eh weak ka eh!
Me: ^_^ ok.
Player: Weak wag ka nga dito! *hits again the monster I'm killing*
Me: ^___________^ *hits screenie button*

That went on for some time and he just gave afterwards. I never got to report him anyway, and never did see him again.

Maybe because now I'm older and a tad more jaded, that words don't hurt me anymore. Sometimes I'm jusst enclosed in a shell of steel and mythril, apathetic to the world. For I have learned that there'll be always idiots in this world, and if I let them piss me off, it's only me that'll be having a hard time.

Some have managed to breach my shell, though. But it's more on because they've fired from inside; like the time that the CMship of Ethereal was suddenly left to us and everything fell apart. I have to admit that I didn't share the same vision, the drive and the time as my predecessor did. And when ideals clash, it's the start of the end. Words flew fast and swift, to and fro, and when the dust settled, nothing was left.

Or a still-hypothetical time when the right him would whisper those three words. After all, a smile can obliterate my defenses, though I'm having second thoughts about the whole thing already.