writing and playing

The problem with good games is that they tend to get me hooked, which explains the absence of very recent posts here.

PW-Ph's open beta started on the 18th, and except for Friday (was knocked out by a terrible cold and until now I'm still not completely well), I played most of my free time away. Not that I've completely stopped writing--there are too many nice thoughts whispered by the muse that cannot be ignored--but they're jotted down hurriedly on random scraps of paper and my trusty old notebook. Some of them were actually bordering on the fanfic side, which again shows how hooked I am again to gaming.

Well I expect it to be just in the first few months of playing. When I get to the grinding side of levelling, I probably would go back to writing straight to PC again. And posting here as well.

rambling again

I pop another tablet into my mouth; downing it with more than enough water to get it into my system. Hoping for relief would be an understatement--looking for a cure is more like it. More like looking for an escape hatch down some hole into nowhere, where I am untied from all responsibility. But I fear in that escape, words would not find me anymore.

another end

PW-CBT is ending much later today (it's already 1am on my clock), and well, it was a fun ride. Thanks to all who've made it memorable, and hope to see you all in OB! :)

Here's what I made in waiting-->here. It'll be my sig too tomorrow (I'll make a smaller version).

Now the waiting game starts.

words

Originally written on 08.07.07

Odd that for a (or rather an aspiring) writer, words don't affect me that much.

That wasn't always the case. When I was younger, only a little tease and I'd burst out crying. I was the unofficial crybaby in our circle of cousins, and our almost everyday dialogue would go like this:

Pinsan 1: *teases me* Haha! Di mo abot o!
Me: WAAAH! Abot ko naman eh! *starts crying*
Pinsan 2: Iyakin! Iyakin!
Me: *starts bawling* Di ako iyakin!
Pinsan 3: Hala lakas ng iyak o!
Lola: *comes out of house* Ano na naman ginawa ninyo?! Magsiuwian nga muna kayo!
*all cousins leave*
Me: *would still be crying*

But now, hurl those insults at me and I'd either a) reply sarcastically, b) laugh (if you're one of my close friends) or c) just smile so annoyingly sweetly. This is so effective especially ingame; I remember the time that an arrogant player in (the soon to be defunct) pRose Polaris was mocking me. I just used tactic c and it went like this for at least 15 mins. in the entrance area of Luna Temple:

Player: Hoy weak!
Me: *silent*
Player: Weak!
Me: Ano naman kung weak ako? :)
Player: *shows off and uses that Raider poison skill on the monster that I'm killing, whatever that was called* Eh weak ka eh!
Me: ^_^ ok.
Player: Weak wag ka nga dito! *hits again the monster I'm killing*
Me: ^___________^ *hits screenie button*

That went on for some time and he just gave afterwards. I never got to report him anyway, and never did see him again.

Maybe because now I'm older and a tad more jaded, that words don't hurt me anymore. Sometimes I'm jusst enclosed in a shell of steel and mythril, apathetic to the world. For I have learned that there'll be always idiots in this world, and if I let them piss me off, it's only me that'll be having a hard time.

Some have managed to breach my shell, though. But it's more on because they've fired from inside; like the time that the CMship of Ethereal was suddenly left to us and everything fell apart. I have to admit that I didn't share the same vision, the drive and the time as my predecessor did. And when ideals clash, it's the start of the end. Words flew fast and swift, to and fro, and when the dust settled, nothing was left.

Or a still-hypothetical time when the right him would whisper those three words. After all, a smile can obliterate my defenses, though I'm having second thoughts about the whole thing already.

waiting/warten

Based on a picture, originally written in English, auto-translated and tweaked a bit into German for my assignment. Love that online translator--yes, I can't translate it all by myself yet. There's too much that I must learn, or must give up on learning.

Auf Englisch

Under this umbrella I've waited. A few days have passed, the days passing, fleeting across the horizon. And the rain thundered You ask me, why do I wait?

It is because he said he will come back for me together with our daughter. See? I even have her baby bag with me. And here's her milk and her little stuffed teddybear inside her bag. She would be happy when she sees these.

You say that I'm crazy?

Well is loving your daughter considered crazy? I'm sure she'll return to me, even if it takes a long time.

I must go with you?

No. I will wait here, even if it takes forever.



Auf Deutsch

Unter diesem Regenschirm habe ich gewartet. Wenig Tage hat passiert, die Tage passiert, über den Horizont flüchtig. Und der Regen donnerte, das Tanzen über das Land. Sie fragen mich, warum warte ich?

Es ist, weil er sagte, dass er für mich zusammen mit unserer Tochter zurückkommen wird. Sehen Sie das? Ich habe sogar ihre Baby-Tasche mit mir. Und ist hier ihre Milch und ihr kleiner vollgestopfter Teddybär innerhalb ihrer Tasche. Sie würde glücklich sein, wenn sie diese sieht.

Sie sagen, dass ich verrückt bin?

Das Lieben von jemandem ist nicht verrückt. Ich bin sicher, dass sie zu mir zurückkehrt, selbst wenn es eine lange Zeit nimmt.

Ich muss mit Ihnen gehen?

Nein. Ich werde hier warten, selbst wenn es für immer nehmen wird.